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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?